Broaching the Subject: Did You Relapse?

You were so proud of your friend or relative when they finally decided to seek treatment for their addiction or alcoholism.  You helped them find a rehab, encouraged them throughout the process, and supported them when they returned home.  Finally, you felt hopeful about their future.  But recently, you’ve had a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right.  Your instinct tells you (or perhaps your research has even confirmed) that they’ve relapsed (Read 10 Signs of Relapse).  How do you bring up the topic without making the situation worse and putting them on the defensive?

Understand Relapse and Have Sympathy

Being educated about relapse is important to fully comprehending what your loved one is experiencing.  Relapse can be a normal part of the addiction recovery process (Read Don’t Give Up: Relapse Isn’t Failure).  Many times, relapse is brought about by environmental triggers (e.g., stressful situations, people, or memories) so having sympathy for your loved one is often a better approach than chastising them or accusing them of intentionally returning to their former addictive substance (Read Recovery Statistics: What Works?).

Talk to Others

Chances are, other people—family members, friends, and even coworkers—may have also noticed suspicious changes in your loved one’s behavior.   It may be time to consider (or repeat if you’ve already done so before) an intervention (Read Intervention: Is It Time?, Intervention FAQ, and Preparing for an Intervention).  When trying to help a recovering addict, there is often strength in numbers; the individual frequently is struggling with self-esteem issues, and the outpouring of support from friends and family can be the motivation for accepting help.

Be Prepared to Listen and Offer Alternatives

Why do people relapse?  Because they feel that the substance is their best—and, sometimes, only—option for dealing with distressing realities. Although they probably learned about positive coping mechanisms in rehab, they may have felt alone and overwhelmed by a recent experience.  When you do talk to them, be ready to hear their side of the story without judging them for their choices; remind them of your commitment to support them throughout their recovery, and, together, come up with more positive ways to respond to similar situations in the future (Read Stressed? Avoid Unhealthy Coping Strategies).

Bring It Up

When you are ready to confront the recovering addict or alcoholic, you could try going about it indirectly or directly.  For example, you could casually ask, “How are your Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous meetings going?” or “Did you ever hear from that friend you met in rehab?”  This could start a conversation that may lead to the more pressing issue of relapse. But, if this doesn’t happen, you (and, ideally, others) will have to address the problem head on. Confronting your loved one will not be easy; they may respond with anger, shame, or denial (Read How to Deal with Denial).  But doing so can be a crucial part of keeping them on the road to full recovery.

If you are interested in arranging an intervention or selecting a rehab for your loved one, contact eDrugRehab today!