Distorting Reality: What Addicts Let Themselves Believe

The family and friends of addicts often have difficulty understanding what exactly is going on in their loved one’s head. To outsiders, an addict’s behavior often seems irrational and illogical. The addict is likely using what is known in psychology as cognitive distortions, which are ways of perceiving reality that can distort the truth of a situation. Anyone – non-addicts included – may use cognitive distortions. However, addicts and others with low self-esteem and similar problems may use these skewed ways of thinking more frequently.

What are examples of cognitive distortions?

• Personalization – The addict feels responsible for an event or situation that is entirely out of their control. For example, an addict may look for ways to blame themselves for being raped many years ago or for being laid off at work. In reality, these situations occurred because of extraneous factors that were in no way related to their behavior or decisions.
• Emotional Reasoning – When someone uses emotional reasoning, they create an understanding of a situation based strictly on how they feel. For example, guilt may lead an addict to feel “unworthy of love” and may lead them to believe that they actually are unworthy of love. They may feel stupid for saying something inappropriate and then believe that they actually are stupid. Unfortunately, negative feelings are often the result of negative thoughts. People who use emotional reasoning can enter into a self-destructive loop of negative thoughts and feelings that feed off each other and decrease the individual’s feelings of self-esteem.
• Magnifying/Minimizing – People who use this distortion will often magnify their own errors and minimize those of someone else. For example, someone may magnify and become obsessed with their body image, exercise ethic, and food consumption but justify food-related behaviors in others as “more appropriate” or “more understandable.”
• Should Statements – “Should” statements – like “I should be a better mother” and “I should get help for my addiction” may seem harmless enough. But hidden in the word “should” are loaded personal, familial, and societal expectations that can make an individual feel trapped and resentful. People seem to respond better to personal choices than to a sense of obligation. The better thought would be “I want to be a better mother” or “I want to get help for my addiction,” but addicts often do not have insight into this mechanism and the fact that recovery can be a personal choice as well.
• Labeling – Labeling inaccurately assigns meaning to people, things, and events. Because a happened, it means b-z. In other words, labeling overgeneralizes. For example, “I was late today, therefore I am unreliable.” What is particularly dangerous about this type of cognitive distortion is that after it happens once, it may be used as an “excuse.” “I’m unreliable; therefore, people will expect me to be late, and it makes sense that I am.”
• Mental Filter- Someone who uses a mental filter sees everything in the present reality through a past experience. In the case of addiction, an addict’s priorities may start to shift after they have discovered the high that the substance brings. Life begins to be lived through the addiction. Other mental filters might be a life-threatening event that makes the person feel constantly vigilant and paranoid, thinking “x doesn’t matter as much as y.”