Life after Alcoholism: Overcoming Social Anxiety

If you are a recovering alcoholic, you may have experienced feelings of social anxiety at some point.  For example, perhaps you wanted to ask someone new on a date but put it off because you weren’t sure where to go that wouldn’t have the expectation of drinking alcohol, or you were worried that they might wonder why you weren’t drinking at a club and lose interest in you.  You may also fear rejection once they find out that alcoholism is in your past because of lingering stigmas about addicts and addiction (Read How Americans Perceive Addicts and Addiction to see how many people’s attitudes are changing for the better). Or maybe you went to an all-expenses-paid business dinner and a co-worker tried to insist that you order a drink because the evening was “on the company.”  Recovering from alcoholism can be extremely difficult because, more than any other addictive substance, alcohol has been integrated into numerous – and often unavoidable – social activities.  But if you find yourself in this situation, don’t despair!  There are a number of ways to help you cope with the social anxieties you might feel when recovering from alcoholism.

• Understand Alcoholism

Before you enter a social situation where alcohol will be present, you will likely feel more comfortable if you are able to answer questions about alcoholism and help others understand what you are going through.  Any negative attitudes that you will encounter are very often the result of misinformation (Read Setting the Record Straight: Addiction Myths and Addiction and Genetics).  If you are able to counter negative comments with well-informed facts, you will likely feel more comfortable in the situation, even if at the end of the conversation you and the other person agree to disagree.

• Incorporate Humor

Nothing is more uncomfortable than an awkward silence.  Although it can be extremely difficult to be spontaneously funny, humor can help to lighten an uncomfortable situation.  For example, if someone you are with comments, “Gosh, you never seem to drink!” you could retort, “Ahh…. well, actually, I drink a bit too much! I thought I might sit out for a few years and give you a chance to catch up.”

• Be Conscious of Your Attitude – and Be Positive

People will like you because of your personality, your loyalty, and the other positive qualities you possess.  Take some time to evaluate your attitude and behavior in general terms.  Remember that if you express genuine interest in other people and show them respect, they will be more willing to return that respect once they get to know you, and they will like you for who you are – including your past.  People also enjoy being around people who make them feel good; if you are constantly depressed, often make negative comments, or only talk about yourself, others might not find the interaction pleasant.

• Build Your Self- confidence

Because recovery from any addiction forces you to reevaluate your priorities, your friends, your behaviors, and every other area of your life, you may feel vulnerable and may lack self-confidence, especially during the early stages of recovery.  Reflect on your past accomplishments – including your mature and responsible decision to get treatment for alcoholism – and take pride in the person you have become.  Then approach all social interactions with this solid sense of identity.

• Ask Your Sponsor for Advice

If you joined Alcoholics Anonymous, you probably were assigned a sponsor.  There is a good chance that they will understand exactly what you are going through, so you should consider asking them for any advice they may have about how to handle social situations.  Having the support of someone else can help you plan ahead and avoid the temptation of drinking alcohol in social situations to fit in.

• Be Patient with Yourself

In the same way that recovery is a life-long process, don’t expect yourself to be anxiety-free immediately (or beat yourself up about awkward situations when they occur), especially if you were a shy person to begin with.  Spend time with friends you may have made at rehab or others who support you to balance out any negative experiences that you may encounter and to be reminded of the fact that you can still have fun and enjoy life fully without alcohol.

What can I do if I still have a problem with alcoholism?

If you or someone you know has an alcohol addiction, we encourage you to contact eDrugRehab (Read Why You Shouldn’t Fight Addiction Alone).  Our addiction and intervention specialists can guide you in planning an intervention (Read Intervention: Is It Time?) or selecting a rehab facility (Read What to Ask a Rehab Facility). Although the problems associated with alcoholism can feel overwhelming, don’t let them stop you from getting help (Read Common Excuses for Not Seeking Treatment). Alcoholism can have many devastating effects on everyone involved (Read Alcoholism’s Effects on the Family), and the sooner you get treatment, the sooner you can be on the road to recovery.