When a loved one finally begins treatment, often there is a sense of relief. You may have been stressed for many months or even years as you tried to get them to enter treatment, and now it might feel like there is hope for the person to have a healthy life. However, as they start the process of recovery, you may also be surprised to be feeling a new type of stress.

The first few weeks of treatment can be very taxing for all people involved. It is important during this time to take care of yourself. Make sure that you are spending time with supportive people and are taking care of your body by getting enough rest and eating healthy. You also may have noticed some unexpected emotions. You may be feeling sad your loved one no longer needs you in the same way that they once did. Possibly, you might feel angry that the addict continues to be the one that everyone is focusing on. Maybe you feel a lack of purpose as other people have now taken over the role that you once played in the person's life. Furthermore, you may be noticing changes in your loved one that are unexpected. Maybe they are an angrier person as they recovery or have begun to talk about issues that are difficult for you to hear. When an addict starts treatment, it can be an emotional journey for everyone involved. There are many organizations such as Al-Anon (a support group for those with loved ones who have addiction problems) which can help support you emotionally during this time. Additionally, you may be asked to participate in treatment along with the addict. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) makes the following recommendations to focus on while you participate in your loved one's recovery process.

• Remember that you are involved in treatment because it will help you too. It is not just about the recovery process of the addict.
• Remember you are not responsible for the recovery process of the addict. It is their responsibility to take treatment seriously and find what they need out of it.
• Remember that your family can become healthy apart from the recovery process of the addict. Even if the addict does not respond to treatment, you have the opportunity to take your life back and become better functioning yourself.
• Remember that you did not cause the addict to abuse substances. A variety of factors have played a role in their addiction, and you did not make them fall into this pattern.
• Remember to use your loved one’s therapist to help you get connected to resources that will support you during this time. A referral for a therapist for yourself is likely to be beneficial.

Addicts recover best when the entire system around them changes. They will have to break friendships with unhealthy people and change patterns in their life of hanging out in certain places or doing activities which trigger them to use. If you are also changing during this process, it will help the addict leave behind their former life more readily. Focus on your own mental health as the addict recovers, and seek to break the unhealthy ways that you may be relating to others, including the addict. It is an opportunity for both of you to grow and change.

See also:

• Choosing to Forgive an Addict
• Why They Just Can’t Stop
• Why You Shouldn’t Fight Addiction Alone