'Til Death Do Us Part? When Addiction Challenges Established Relationships

‘Til Death Do Us Part: When Addiction Challenges Established Relationships

You have been with your spouse or partner for years, perhaps even decades.  You want what’s best for them, but ever since they developed an addiction, you hardly recognize the person whom you committed your life to so many years ago. You’ve started to wonder whether it wouldn’t be better for everyone for you to leave.

Should you stay or should you go?

If you’re reading this article, you probably already know that there’s not always an easy answer.  On the one hand, addiction and alcoholism can have a negative impact on many people – not just the addict (Read Alcoholism’s Effects on the Family and The Addict Parent: What it Means for Child Development).  On the other hand, addiction is a complex medical problem that can begin as a result of multiple factors including genetics (Read Addiction and Genetics), past traumatic experiences (Read PTSD: When the Past Effects the Present), and co-occurring mental health problems such as depression (Read Dual Diagnosis: When Addiction and Mental Health Collide).  Some factors to consider when making the decision are discussed below.

Is anyone’s safety immediately jeopardized?

If the answer is “yes,” you should leave now.  This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are ending the relationship or pursuing divorce (although that may need to happen later).  However, you have a responsibility to yourself and your children to do what’s best for everyone’s physical, sexual, and emotional well-being (Read Substance Abuse: Causing and Coping with Domestic Violence and Custody: Where Should the Children of an Addict Be?).  If you don’t have family and friends to stay with locally, churches, hospitals, community organizations, and even the police may be able to help you find temporary, safe housing.

How long has the problem been going on?  Have you offered the addict help – a way out?

If everyone is safe and the problem is relatively new, you may want to consider confronting the addict before abandoning them.  eDrugRehab offers intervention and rehab-placement services (Read Intervention FAQ).  In some cases, the addict may be too scared, embarrassed, or “deep” into the behavior to seek out help on their own (Read How Addicts Think). Still, many have gone to rehab when encouraged to by family and friends during a formal intervention. If, however, the problem has been going on for years, and numerous interventions and rehabs have only ended with quick relapse, it may be time to think about moving on with your life.

Is the addict involved in any other illegal behavior?

Aside from alcohol use, possession and use of illegal drugs and misuse of prescription medications is – in and of itself – illegal behavior.  However, if the addict has been involved with stealing, dealing, driving while high, or any other crimes related to their addiction, you might want to leave before you get caught in the middle (Read Drug Treatment and the Criminal Justice System).

Are you inadvertently contributing to the problem?

Before you are too quick to judge the addict’s choices, carefully evaluate your own. Family members with good intentions may actually help perpetuate addiction by assisting the addict financially and in numerous other ways (Read Are You an Enabler?).  The addict may not realize that you are serious until you withdraw these types of support.

If you know someone struggling with addiction, contact eDrugRehab today!